i am the damaged one...

so i continue to fuck things up, and i really do not mean to like at all....i continue to blame people for things that i do and i don't know why i do it. i jus want to get past that point where i keep doing it to the people that mean everything to me....i need to quit doing a lot of things in my life, the things that keep on hurting the people that mean everything to me...idk why i keep doing it....i really need to sit down and think about what i have been doing to these people and cut it the fuck out because at some point they are going to cut me out of their lives and then i will have nothing left be my own wretched body, what the fuck is wrong with me? why do i keep doing this to people...idk what im doing anymore...i quit

I'm outty 5
-Peace-

Thanksgiving Break

so for this thanksgiving i thought that i would change it up, so i did. i came to wisconsin for thanksgiving to spend it with my gf and her family, its a pretty sweet place to be....its a totally different scene than the big O. but other than that i don't really miss it like i don't need to be in omaha anymore. idk its weird i jus feel like i have spend my time there and don't any more of it. i have also been thinking alot about my future over the last couple days or so and i have figured out what i want to do with my life and where i want to live and who i ultimately want to spend the rest of my life with....its been an eye opener and i think that i like it...but for now i gotta go


I'm outty 5
-Peace-

up and coming...

so im hoping that this week will go by quickly, mainly because i am going to wisconsin for thanksgiving with my girlfriend and her family....it should be a good time, i get to spend time getting to know her parents and her family better so that should be all kinds of fun, but i have a test in spanish next monday so thats kinda shitty and i also get to find out what i got on my philosophy test on thursday so im kinda excited about that too...idk what else to write about.....i declared my major finally. im gonna do photojournalism, i kinda want to become a photographer which would be a sweet job to have but thats just me....idk i have all kinds of energy right now and nothing to do, so maybe ill rearrange things in my room maybe....? idk yet ill figure it out

I'm outty 5

-Peace-

its been awhile....

Its been awhile since I've been on here, idk why I haven't wrote on this thing cuz I have so much on my mind these days....grades have been shitty, I almost lost the one girl in my life that makes my life and everything so much better but were good now which is good :) and idk what else to put....I'm goin home with her for thanksgiving so that's a big step for us, I get to meet her family and hang out with her and her family, and I'm excited about it....there is jus all kinds of things goin on in my life that I need to get on lock down and I think I figured out what I want to do with my life, I want to become a writer and write poetry and maybe even short stories...I just feel like everything is good in my life when I write...but I gotta go study

I'm outty 5
-Peace-

yeah...

so i haven't been on here in awhile.....this weekend i was sick with swine flu nation, it sucked but at the same time i didn't really mind it, i got to be isolated which gave me time to think about all kinds of things that are goin on in my life....i listened to all kinds of music got some studying done which was good....this is the week before fall break which will be good for everyone to be able to get away for awhile and whatnot...i have a paper due friday, a rehearsal dinner that night, my brothers wedding on saturday and the reception that night which should be a good time and then sunday is the wedding party breakfast at like 9:30 am which shouldn't be exciting because everyone will be hung over and whatnot hahaha but then the 19th is when our fall break starts and i think i might be going to oklahoma with my roommate which would be sweet especially since i haven't been out of the big O in awhile its a much needed break....idk i think tomorrow im goin to stay with the gf for the night so she doesn't have to stay alone....kinda nice of me huh? haha yeah i know...im hoping that this week goes by quickly because i need it to and this weekend should be fun, i get to see my oldest brother and his wife for the first time since summer so that should be good and i also get to see my relatives who i haven't seen in a long time, and they all get to meet my gf....idk how well she is gonna take all of that....we are very overwhelming people but thats jus how we are, my entire family is really close and i love that we are, i wouldn't have it any other way...idk what else to write about but for now i gotta go study some and get shit ready for this weekend...


I'm outty 5
-Peace-

rainy days and long ass weeks...

so its rained for like the last 2 or 3 days, and yeah i like the rain jus fine...it actually makes me a happier person idk why but it does...the only thing that i really don't like is when its windy as fuck and raining....that shit bugs the fuck out of me...its only tuesday right now, which sucks...i was hoping that this week would go by a lot faster but it jus hasn't, maybe i gotta wait till wednesday to get here and then it will go by quicker...or maybe its cuz i have a conference with my CW teacher on thursday....idk, like i feel like im ready for the conference and i know what i want to do with my paper and everything but im pretty sure shes gonna bring all kinds of new ideas into the picture that i don't think im ready to accept...when it comes to things that i write i really don't like changing them especially if its using my creative side....i jus don't like doing things by other people's standards....i like doing things my own way and usually they turn out pretty well, i mean i have been published like twenty or so times...so i guess im not good enough for the school? idk....fuck it....i do what i want....


I'm outty 5
-Peace-

my life, my life, my life....

so im pretty sure that i have decided what i truely want to do with my life...become a writer but at the same time i would like to be one of those people that helps other people deal with their problems, im like a natural consuelor....and im not trying to be cocky about that. its like i know how to talk to people and i like helping people with their probelms, people find something within me that they can connect to and they feel comfortable talking to me. when i first started school here like 2 or so years ago i was definitely considering being a therapist or something along those lines ya know? like someone that can get paid to talk to people all day and jus feel good when you help them with their problems or whatever is going on in their lives at the time. but idk what to do anymore....my actually profession that i wish i could undergo is a comedian, i love to make people laugh, its probly one of the greatest feelings that i could ever feel....but you have to be extremely funny to be about to do that, i want to do something with my life that not only i can benefit from but also everyone else around me....i want to be able to change the world and be the greatest at what i do....i know its asking for a lot but thats what i want....i jus needed to get that out of my head....


I'm outty 5
-Peace-